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CINDY
my curiosity for you eats into my sleep.





IN MY HEART I KEEP:

READ
Sunday, December 31, 2006

shit, i am running late..
so, shall just blog quickly..
meeting phoebe later.
(she worked in mini toons so i should say she's my new friend)
i dont know her that well yet but i tink she's nice.
she went all the way to tampines to look for me yesterday...
and in the end only spend like half an hour with me during my break..
(:
i am changing job.
is it a bad thing or a good thing? i dont know..
now that my poly fees are kinda settled..
i am not so desperate for a job.
but if i dont look for a job,
i will bored to death at home..
if i go out then i will burnt a hole in my pocket..
so rather than spending i shall earn..
right??
so please..i want a good job.. i mean GOOD job!!
make sure it's a job that pay people double on public hoilday...
HAHA (:

school i reopening for some of my friends but..
I STILL HAVENT GET TO GO OUT WITH THEM!!
hell sorry that i am half the time working.

alright, now for new year's resolutions...
shall just have a few.
i never believed that having as many as possible is good...
what's the point when at the end nothing is accomplished??
just a have a few and make sure i accomplished it..

1. Study hard. (i mean it!)
2. Spend less.
3. CANNOT be late for ANY meetings.
4. Eat less MacDonald. :(
5. No messy room.
*6. Be more understanding towards him.

*terms and conditons applied. resolutions may change without pior notice.

alright, 6 will do.
if i can keep all that for the whole 2007,
it will be GREAT!



if 2006 hadn't been great for you,
it's okay.
2007 will be better!!
smile! (:
(L) alphabet A
6:49 AM





Thursday, December 28, 2006

people earn $9/hr or even more on christmas and what about me?
(L) alphabet A
2:06 PM





Tuesday, December 26, 2006

MERRY CHRISTMAS
went to town with him yesterday.
dint really countdown with the people
but just there to feel the christmas atmosphere..
does christmas celebration include spraying on strangers???
we had "fun" time avoiding all those sprays..
HAHA. he says that having spike hair will be the worst hairstyle ever...
after countdown, we went for movie.
watched "the holiday" again...
well, it's still a nice show..
after the show, it was alrdy 3plus in the morning...
orchard road was not so crowded
and what i saw was the dirtiest orchard road ever.
OH MY GOSH!!
then it's said that orchard road will be closed on 26th dec..
now i know why...
they need to clean up the mess inconsiderate singaporeans left behind.
alright...gotta work liao...
how sad??

(L) alphabet A
3:40 AM





Sunday, December 24, 2006

went for HPT traning camp...
only went for the last day - BURDEN.
last yr's one was definitely tougher and more burden. haha!!
nonetheless i feel so happy to be in red shirt again.
well, sad that nxt yr's sec3 adventure camp is not taken by us!!
how can??
now i am considering dying back my hair just for hpt
because..hpt is part of council..urrgh.
(provided there are MORE activites nxt yr for grads!)
seriously, i HATE spraying my hair black! IT'S GROSS.
i can leave my ponytail's mark on your face if i spank you with it.
believe it or not!
HAHA (:

anyway, i finally talk to my mum..urm after she found out my ugly secret.
that day we sat down at the dining table to make tang yuan
then finally we talked!!
HAPPY! (:
then my father ask me...
"yesterday you took your boyfriend's car ahh?"
and i nod my head.
then he ask me how old is my boyfriend and i said 20.
cool huh?? first time i so openly talk to them abt my boy.
the last time was because..
i was crying like mad over a breakup with a bastard..
HAHA. feel so.....i dont know how to say....
i just hope that my boy and i can last real real long.
i wanna see him with wrinkles or white hair. OOPS.

bad news...
i pissed my supervisor off...HAHA.
abit sad but there is nothing i can do abt it now...
but i know she s forgiving one.
at least i hope so...
tomorrow it is christmas eve.
ha! thou working but cwmb staff will be doing exchange of gifts.
heh.

it's gonna be 2007 soon. so lemme come up with some resolution..
lalala..
anyway, nice blogskin right?
favourite julius neh..

and baby, i love you many many!!
this will stand forever <3

(L) alphabet A
3:31 PM





Monday, December 18, 2006

i am working on christmas eve and christmas eve eve!! -__-'' kinda sad but it's okay..money seems to be the centre of my world now since my secret is exposed. URRRGH. frankly speaking, i need a higher pay job if not i wont be able to pay my own poly fees. at the end of the day, i am not supposed to spend a single cent on anything after getting my pay. that's pretty fucked up. i seriously hope to work as a full timer for mini toons/bits. save me the time to look for jobs and fill up bloody resumes and wait for their calls. this process is frustrating!! next week gonna be busy man..i have managed to pull some time out for camp. will be booking in on the night of 21st then booking out on night of 22nd. i end work at 9pm on 21st but i will try to ask if i can leave earlier..so that i can join my troop for what seems to be fun. it's sad i cant go for last day...hai. NEVERMIND!! i am practically just worried about going there and leaving there MYSELF!! gosh. i met up with my troop members which are actually ONLY chun kiat and daphne to do the flag the other day. heh. i like out troop flag. apologised for complaining that i am sleepy. and then i saw shimin (shortshort) at mini bits. so funny...well, i am looking forward to seeing the rest of my juniors real soon!! we're doing some marketing (:

i didnt mean to get angry and make us sad. but look, i believe we shouldnt have anything to hide. i just feel so insecure too. it's something i cant help it. buti promise, i am trying already.
(L) alphabet A
1:35 PM





Saturday, December 16, 2006

forget it. now all i want is to be left alone. fuck it.
(L) alphabet A
2:14 AM





Monday, December 11, 2006

"Welcome to mini bits."
wow! worked for a week at mini bits already. so far so good. colleagues there are nice and friendly! (but, serving some customers can be difficult at times..they like to ask lotsa qns!!!)
it's gonna be busier soon because christmas is nearing. this week's work schedule is kinda screwed up. other than first day, i work only like 4hrs a day. so i told the store manager and she say she will gimme longer working hours next week. yay. actually nothing much to say...work is still work after all..
"Thank You, see you again!!"
yesterday was my off day so i spent my day with baby. (: we went to eat at new york new york. heh. YUMMY!! i made green apple candy floss for both of us. haha. we had a great time!! then went to watch deja vu at marina square. interesting show. was nicer than i expected. wanted to go for HPT overnight meeting initialy but chnaged my mind. i scared i not enough sleep then probably doze off during work the next day. i am still thinking whether i should go for the training camp. 21st to 23rd..it's too near christmas and i cant take off. so how?? i seriously wanna go for the training camp... but i cant balance both work and HPT. this makes me think of friends in n280. they told me alot of them gave me miss calls and smes but i reply to none. the prob is i dint get anything..they also invited me for the BBQ but nah...i dont feel like i still belong there. so, i dint even wannna go...

christmas is coming!! but i am not really looking forward to it anymore..i will most probably be working lor! sian half. what about my log cake and turkey and BABY??

all i want for christmas is YOU.. buying me everything i want. (:
(L) alphabet A
6:59 AM





Sunday, December 03, 2006


i saw this on kokwey's never update blog, isnt it cute?
i cannot help it but "steal" from there..ooops!
IT'S SO ADORABLE. even baby think so too.. (:

well, tomorrow is a sunday and i am not waking up early in the morning to rush to yck to meet the taxi gang, i dont even tink i am ever going to do that again. thanks to some biatch..i cannot help it but scold her right?! who can stand such a "it". nevermind. what's done cannot be undone. i am just gonna miss all of you...especially carol and jaric. they are two people i really treasure alot. thinking of all those times....makes me sad. studying together with jaric, combing the whole city hall for a good priced T10 and all the shoppings!! hai :( and this means i cannot go chcc anymore. no more cute cute boys and girls, no more cute cute songs in their service. oh well... so life's gonne be rather dead now. work and work and still work. maybe it's good. i got debt with M1. havent pay my bills. then what abt all those christmas present also?? hee. i will definitely get fishy a present! she's such a sweet!! she is going out with me to buy black pants and black shoes tomorrow. hee. so happy.. alright. i hope i will get to blog soon. haha. miss me!!
(L) alphabet A
2:28 PM






I WANT THIS FOR CHRISTMAS!
?
anyway, i am starting work at mini bits on Mon. WHEE (:

(L) alphabet A
4:07 AM





Saturday, December 02, 2006

it's the same dishes but why is it not so delicious?
it's still a matress but why is it not so comfortable?
it's a house with people but why is it all so different?
because it's not my home.

i always think my own home was not cosy. but after staying out for almost 5days in other people's house, i miss home. i miss my ah ma's cooking, my mum's nagging, my bro's irritating voice, and all the laughter we had. i always think they neglect me and i am not part of them but right now, i cannot imagine if i didnt had them. it's still the best to be under this roof called home. i miss every single part of it. my room to the living room to the bathroom to the kitchen. so, i am going back soon. i had a miss call from home, does it mean they miss me too? since someone wanted his personal space too. so be it. maybe i am feeling all these because i am down but i am still sad. i cannot hide it. i thot today is meant to be the happiest day of the month. but, no. i am super sad. i havent been so depressed for a long time. why do all bad things always comes in a row? and worse of all it seems like nobody cares. not even him.. maybe, nobody will know that i am gone if one day i disappear. and what if i jump down the building and nobody cries? negative thots are filling up my brains. seriously,i feel like i am a total failure. it's not just abt that job which i maybe didnt get, neither is it just abt losing a i-thot-suppose-to-be-my-best friend but it's my life. it seems like i made it to fail. now that i got nothing better to do after exams, i got lotsa time to let my thots run.. i realise my life is rubbish. and right now when i need someone to talk to, someone to hold me tight, someone to rely on.. where is that someone? all you tell me is i cannot cry, i cannot be sad anymore...but all these doesnt even help. i feel that i am standing all alone and you are not my pillar of support. are computer games that important? or i dont mean a single thing to you now? i dont like to be alone in my room to face the four walls so i stayed here. but here, i face a boy stuck to his com. holding back my tears is so painful, why dont you hug me tight and let me cry on?

must i act like i am happy to please you? oh come on...
maybe the day i am gone will the greatest relief for you. maybe if one day i disappear, you wont even try to look for me. maybe i should just be alone.

i dont even know how to carry on.
(L) alphabet A
11:57 AM





Friday, December 01, 2006

I AM SAD!
I AM SAD!
I AM SAD!
I AM SAD!
I AM SAD!

(L) alphabet A
2:14 PM







baby, stay with me till the end

i went to vivocity with baby yesterday. i'm so glad it wasnt as crowded as the last time i went. before that we ate alot at the harborfront hawker centre. we had hokkien mee, char kuey tiao, dumplings soup and roti john. cheap and yummy! with all the food that i have eaten these few days, i gonna put on some weight man. (he is gonna complain man! ooops!!) so we did a little of shopping. and i like a few tops at Forever21. i'm gonna get them when i finally got money. er hum... Chirstmas is a time of giving right? as i give, i will recieve right? HAHA. and this new brand that is call "pull and bear" sells nice clothes too. well, i didnt buy anything. then we took alot of stupid photos of ourselves and the scenery at the terrace. haha. (how nice to have a cam huh?) by the time we leave the terrace, all the shops have already closed!! so we went to grab our sotong head from old chang kee. then went to giant to grab a drink. we bought the 99cents apple juice and the Long Island tea. it's actually alcohol.. 10% alcoholic. it has rum, volka, triple sec, cola and tequila. my first time drinking it. then we took 166 home. it's a long way back and it makes my head spin. though i didnt buy anything but i did enjoy myself with Baby. i just love his company! (:





after a long long day...


back at Baby's house...we drank the Long Island tea. WOAH. can seriously taste the alcohol. i admit i was a little seh afer drinkng. Guess what cleared my mind in the middle of the night. SOMEBODY KNOCK ON THE DOOR.. so scary. it's actually a girl around my age, looking for her ex-bf. lol. she's so crazy and brave. anyhow kock on people's door like that. then Gary's dad was so funny!!! he ask her," why? somebody took your boyfriend?"WAHAHA. then she replied no lah..and walked away...
after that kpoh baby and I went to see her at the balcony. she went to the nxt block 10th floor also. so she knows her ex stays on 10th floor. scary man. as a semi-drunk girl, i fell asleep and started snoring as baby was singing me a lullaby. ooops.

great day spent with Baby but i'm starting to miss my friends. like Carol and Steph. so long never go out with them liao!! :( next week it shall be.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY UGLY!!


(L) alphabet A
1:26 PM