<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d35371612\x26blogName\x3dSecret+Jealousy\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dTAN\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://iuhnis.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://iuhnis.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-7656887731311859157', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
                                                                       


CINDY
my curiosity for you eats into my sleep.





IN MY HEART I KEEP:

READ
Wednesday, November 14, 2007

//edited (:

today's date with baby is greaaat.
(:
my wish was granted and we went for sushi at PS.
window shopped around PS.
saw a bag, some clothes which will be add on to my shopping cart.
i think they aint gonna be cheap.
BUT camera still comes first.
i wanna OWN my own camera before christmas man.
next month i'm gonna have a hole in my pocket.
christmas is a time of giving (:

then we took a bus down to Cineleisure.
caught Game Plan, like finally.
i guess you guys must have known by now that it's a nice show.
yeah, i actually cried a little. and i want that house of Joe Kingman.

I’m happy because baby bought me a baby piglet (:
He really pampers me a lot.

We headed to Taka to look at Christmas trees. I wanna get a Christmas tree this year.
Actually...
I’m planning to have a tiny party with baby’s family.
But he say he ask the opinions of the rest first. Quite true that the cleaning up part is tiring.
I also make a little effort to walk over to Giordano to visit FooWen. heehee.
After some more window shopping, dinner then we headed home.

i think baby caught a cold. he says he's gonna take MC tomorrow.
oh boy, so poor thing.
Too bad i can't give him a hug now.
(L) alphabet A
5:35 PM





Tuesday, November 13, 2007

just to continue from my last entry.
yeah, my plans for Wed right? i accomplish them all.
i'm happy to see the smile on bff's face when she open up the Pizza box to see a hoodie which i bought for her. haha. she asked, "eh, why you put it inside?"
i'm happy to make her day. love!
after i left her shop, i went hunting for a gift for baby.
in the end, i bought the couple tee for us.
kinda sweet but the size S is still big for me.

after searching hard for a adorable card,
i sneaked to pastamania to write sweet nothings for him.
and of course, surprise him.
(:
he's touched i guess.

i havent gave him any surprises since some time ago.

so at least my day had been great until i reach home.

i was really disappointed that this problem keeps coming back.
each time it only got worse..
and this time round i decided i cant take it anymore.
home is no longer comfortable for me.
i agree it's not that they are heartless or whatever shit but...
i guess we just cant communicate well.
and i believe it's no point for me to stay there trying to argue with my folks.
i swear i cried hard over this again and agin.

so, i moved in with my granny now.


she pampers me like always.
(:
finally some home cooked food after so long.
and someone to talk to and at least she tries to understands.
it's nice the way she ask me whether i brought my ez-link out each time.
hee.

life still goes on.

oh yeah, went to kbox on deepavali night.
it was a little expensive but it feels great screaming and sing aloud into the mic.
it feels good to get a little tipsy with Chivas too.
just was still vexed with the folks' affairs.

sometimes i wish to share when friends ask but..
it's hard to express my feelings and why i'm so down.
i dont deny the fact that i thot maybe being dead will be better off
and i tried to kill myself with some antibiotics, panadol and cough syrup,
so did i try to jump from 9th floor.
i mean isn't it the easiest way to escape?
but dont worry, i wont be so silly anymore.

i'm still the happy girl that people sees.

(:

later after this boring lecture ends,
i shall finally go back home to move my stuff to granny's place.
hmmmm, hope only nobody is a home.

isn't my life like super rocky?
full of ups and downs?
and kinda screwed, too screwed sometimes?

oh well, still have to live with it.
it will make me a stronger, more independent girl i guess.
and i'm perfectly fine now if not i wouldn't be blogging to tell the whole world about my pathetic life. haha.

okay. that's all for now.

ps. granny's place got no internet connection alrdy so i wont blog so often. :(
(L) alphabet A
6:46 AM





Monday, November 12, 2007

Oh well, I went home and I saw how neat my room is. Obviously mummy packed it up for me after that day I behave like an ox and left the room in a mess. I don’t know what to feel /say at this sight.
I was practically stunned.
First they traumatized me, then now what?
Want me not to move to granny’s place and continue to live in hatred, sorrow or fear?
Behind those close doors I thought, to move or not to move. I cant deny the fact that I’m so gonna miss everything here.
I open my closet. I just stared at my clothes. I started admiring how pretty I arranged those t-shirts according to colors. And obviously half the population are black and white.
I just cant bear to move a single piece out of their place.
Just when I wanted to get a bag to get the ball rolling, I realise how nice mummy pack my bags into cartons in the corner of my room. With label, school bags/ casual bags.
The more my heart shook.

After contemplating for 15minutes, I left the house with nothing, just thoughts.
I went to meet Shiyun after that.
I told her what happened and I’m glad she understands.
I really felt so much better with her company.
We had dinner at Taka. I had Tori-Q and she had fried rice.
Wanted to get macroons but too bad I forgot in the end.

After that we went to shop for lingerie.
I bought myself a set of pierre cardin.
Something off my shopping cart. (:
Then we headed to Far East.
Just did some window shopping over there.
Bought a cheapo watch @ $10 because I think it’s nice.
Let’s see how many days I will wear it on for.

After Far East got real boring, we went to Cineleisure.
There, Shiyun and I got our love pendant @ Diva.
We ti gam ti gam and she got the fairy with “Best” so I took the fairy with “Friends”
It’s common stuff but still, I love it.
We then went to find my baby.
But dumb, he’s at shaw house today.

So, we stroll all the way back to shaw house and enjoy the Christmas lightings.
We think this year is nicer than last year.
Perhaps gold is too cliché already.
So I like the bluish lights and snowflakes this year compare to last year’s stars.
Wanted to find a place to chill but Shiyun got Math test tomorrow.
So we headed home.

Now I’m back at home. I mean granny’s place.
I was at my own house just now.
Yeah, eventually I still moved my stuffs here. It’s hard to conclude how I come to thiis decision.
I swear I looked so spastic with a huge lacoste paper bag full of clothes, a lacoste bag of books, a laptop and a bag with other stuffs.
Luckily baby was with me.

And know what?
I really really cherish my baby for everything he had done and is willing to do for me.
Though not physically, emotionally he is always there for me no matter what happens.
And knowing this, it really helps me a whole lot. I know I can turn to him always.
He may not give me the best solutions but his listening ears and powerful hugs are more than enough.
Tears are welling up in my eyes already. Oh man, I love him.

This is a long entry.
Haven’t blog so much in ages.
But I yearn for a photo blog! Arrggh.
15more days to camera.
(L) alphabet A
6:35 PM





Tuesday, November 06, 2007

it's 2.15 am in the wee hour and i'm still wide awake.
what happened? i dont know.
talking to Love on the phone now.
We're missing each other alrdy.
Was having a great time during supper with Love so in the end..
I caught the last train & last bus home.

I am good because i took my pills.
I was bad because i couldn't resist fish&chips.
Now my throat is really sore.

Plans for tomorrow
Go for stats tutorial.
Go get a haircut.
Go find bff. I bought her a little something. and then acc her in the shop.
(L) alphabet A
6:15 PM





Monday, November 05, 2007

I'm down with fever so i didn't go to school and work.
Feel terrible now. Body aches like hell and my head is spinning.
I didn't go and see Doctor. Just took some fever pills.
I ate some porridge and i so feel like vomitting.
Oh boy, i hope i will recover by tomorrow man.
And those allergies on my lower lips are killing me.
Fuck.


I was browsing through the web and i came by this...




i thought this was bad.


and then i saw this.

that's his dick man. this is seriously gross!


(L) alphabet A
10:03 PM






Just had a nice warm shower, it's pouring outside!
Daddy's back from Taiwan. havent got to talk to him yet. he was already snoring away when i reached home.
Work was fine today. Next week schedule is damn packed. Oh no!
Ran into Felix at the interchange and chatted awhile. He's got a cute acne on his right cheek.
And, anyway, i need a hair cut.
Have to book an appointment with Allan for next Wed.
And, guess what? i just bought a dress online.

Okay, i'm off to get some beauty sleep.
class's early tomorrow.
Goodnights.
(L) alphabet A
1:33 AM





Sunday, November 04, 2007

not working on a Saturday! wheee..and i'm spending it at his house.
went to zouk yesterday. at least the crowd wasn't that bad.
the only sad thing is that i couldn't drink the shots yesterday.
i have allergies on my lower lips again!
it'll be so fucking painful if they touches the salt & lemon.

he's not at home to company me. super bored.
i was just watching Leatherface DVD and i'm too lazy to go pack lunch.
now i'm off to nap again.
(L) alphabet A
6:20 AM





Thursday, November 01, 2007

Went to pluck my eyebrows @ Bugis street. Surprisingly it wasn't as bad as i thought. I waited quite a while but the lady's service was good. Thumbs up.
Walked around there with love while waiting for the girls and bought a gorgeous dress.
Oh yes, not forgetting he finally agree to take neoprints with me. hee.
Went for steamboat with the usuals (Shiyun, Xiwen & Jenny), Love, Baoshan Andy and his gf @ Chuan Yi Ping. It's my virgin try there. Not too bad i should say. Would probably go back there when i get my camera.
Guess i have to wait till ncxt month.
Bought too many shoes last month.
Bought too many clothes this month.
And i make sure camera willbe the first thing i buy nxt month.
Anyway, then we all girls went to Bugis street to see people close their shops. But, haha, at least i bought another dress.
And i'm going to bed now. Sleepy!
(L) alphabet A
4:03 PM