now having u-nair's class.
aiyoyo.
never sleep yesterday night...
so PPG all so restless now.
can you imagine we reached school at 6:46.
omg~!
we sat at Macs and slept for 20minutes.
i had hotcakes
i remembered how happy i got when i get to eat Mac every Sun
when i was a little girl.
i wished the hotcakes made my day but obviously they didnt.
with my heart aching
and eyelids falling,
the sweet syrup dont seems that sweet anymore.

now,
i got not much energy to smile nor laugh like i usually do.
i bet Brent miss my unique laughter!

i'm sitting at a little corner right at the back now.
it's my comfort zone.

(YAWNS)

okay, i spend John Lim's class trying to do something to my blog.
it may not be nicer but at least seeing colours makes me happier.
and my entries can be colourful colourful colourful.

songs will be up back soon.
i promise.

i'm trying so hard to make my own day.
oh dear.
i am down.
i mean down!
upset, sad, depressed!
not emo not emo!

many a time,
i ask him this question:
"Does he loves me?"

people,
is this seriously my problem?
is it because i dont have confidence in myself?
or is it he didnt love me enough to make me feel secure.

how can i stop this negative thoughts?

when i say i dont feel his care,
he says he does.
and he says our definition to "care"
is different.
YES, i agree.
so how?
we will never come to terms with each other right?

THIS IS NOT I WANT!

obviously he's the one i need all my time!
and,
i cant afford to let our relationship rot away just like that.

and i know!
at the end of the day,
no matter how angry i was or he was,
we still end up patching when we both apologise,
with a kiss from one another,
and a nice warm hug that can never be better.

like yesterday night,
we spend like 2hours quarrelling over the phone
but yet we still came up with no resolutions.
all we did was..
cooled down and apologised.

i need to resolve all this!

i dont want a communication break down.

i dont wanna let all our conversations be an arguement.

i want him to keep me by his side
as much as i want to keep him by my side.

i hope i will be back to cheery cheery me soon.

i feel my forehead burning,
my brains beating hard against my skull.
fever symptoms.
i need medicine and a hug.

i miss my baby,
i need his reassurance that he still loves me so.

i feel like collapsing on the floor right now.
probably just to take a nap..

(L) alphabet A
2:57 AM